—– Original Message —–

From: xxx@hotmail.com <xxxx@hotmail.com>

To: Jason Mesnick

Sent: Mon Jan 19 08:18:10 2009

So last night didn’t go NEAR how I thought. I didn’t think I would be

that angry (I’m not sure I’ve EVER been that angry to be honest with

you….), but I’m sorry for how heated I got. At the same time though, I’m not. I still can’t believe how you can’t give reasons other than ‘It changed.’

In relationships (especially ones where committments are involved), you FIGHT,you TRY, you  COMMUNICATE to make things work. You know as well as I do that you didn’t give 100% to me or the relationship. And I don’t understand how you can walk away from something without giving it your all – but I am walking away knowing I did.

And getting confirmation about Molly in front of people like that was a

complete classless move if you ask me – how could you do that to me

after Irepe atedly asked you about it??? I’m not stupid, I knew about

Molly…knew you guys had been talking….and you lied to me about it. For you to choose to b e with someone who most of the girls in the house didn’t get a long with, and bashed me when she left, then more power to you both. You owed it to me to  tell me this before last night…and I can’t believe you did that to me publicly. I can’t even tell you how much respect I lost for you….but it makes this whole process from here on out much easier for me.

Please don’t respond…I really just wanted to apologize for getting so

angry last night – but I hope you understand why I did….

From: “Jason Mesnick”

Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:52:58 -0800

To: <xxx@hotmail.com>

Subject: Re:

The producers had a lot to do with it. I am so sorry. This is so

horrible

From:xxx@hotmail.com [mailto:xxx@hotmail.com]

Sent: Monday, January 19, 2009 9:11 AM

To: Jason Mesnick

Subject: Re:

(This coming from the man who told me not to trust producers…..) Then

congratulations on being produced….but I don’t believe you. You are a

grown man, and perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Own your actions and stop blaming this process..

From: “Jason Mesnick”xxx*xxxx.com

Sent: Monday, January 19, 2009 01:37 AM

T<xxxx@hotmail.com>

cc: xxxx@xxxxx.com>

Subject: RE:

I wish we could have had that same conversation away from cameras. You are so right about feeling everything you do. I deserved everything you said.

They really didn’t want me to say anything to you until the cameras were there and you know that I couldn’t do that. I tried and I hate what I

have done to you. You don’t deserve any of it at all. I wish there were more that I could say. Its just things really felt different and I didn’t

want to be thinking about her and wish I could control it. I want to take all of your pain away and put it on me. If you are talking about Karma, I

slipped and fell and had a huge gash in my leg 3 inches wide and to the bone. I deserve so much worse for what I am doing to you.  Obviously you know more about me now and you just deserve so much more. I hate that I had to say that to you, and you had to hear that.  You do need to heal and if that means never talking to me again or if that means, you getting angry with  meas  often as you want, I will do it all.

You do not need to give me any reasons for your actions; I think you did

what you had to do.

-J

—–Original Message—–

From xxxxx@.com [mailto:]

Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2009 8:24 AM

To: Jason Mesnick

Subject: RE:

I do hope you understand my frustrations then. The fact that even after

‘production’ was wrapped, you still let producers manipulate our

‘relationship’ is frustrating. At what point do you say, “Hey,

guys…youdid your  part, and now it’s our turn to have a real relationship without you meddling and telling us what to say and do?”  When I look at it that way, I’m thankful I found this out now. And I’ll just say, the Molly thing wasn’t a secret….just wish you’d had the decency to tell me before I was put in front of TV cameras – regardless of what Martin was telling you, as a person, a friend, etc…you owed me that. Especially since you were the one who kept saying you didn’t want any surprises at this thing……ironic, eh? Seeing the person that you became, you are right: a relationship between you and I would never work out – and that’s why I’m thankful this happened sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, you were not the person that I thought you were – and that’s ok….just a little embarrassed I fell for it I guess. I do think it’s a little ironic, though that you kept telling me, “morally, how could I ever get back with DeAnna after what she did to me?” And I agree….just seems like a very similar situation with your new lady…..Just a little irony I guess.

Anyway, I’m not mad…I’m not hurt – seeing how things were  handled,helped me get over things very quickly. I do wish you both the best though.

Take care.

I understand everything and I wish more than anything I didn’t let them

get in the way. I handled that part so poorly. It sounds like you are

doing well and am so glad. Just know that I feel so horribly about this.

It is a pain I will live with forever. I will not make any excuses you

are a wonderful person and I am sorry for everything. I do want you to

know that when I proposed to you it was from the heart and wanted to be with you forever.

-J